Today, I finally had to get real about my laundry situation. Let me be frank; I hate to do laundry even on my best day!! However, because of the holidays (and my loathing of the chore), I was really behind. So, before I can begin, I have to choose which loads will take priority. I realize that having a laundry hierarchy sounds ridiculous but that’s just how I roll.
My point really has everything and nothing to do with laundry.
In life, we have to prioritize. What needs our most urgent attention? What can be relegated to the bottom of the list? And, if you can figure out your priorities, you can begin to make a plan of action.
For me, depression and anxiety have almost crippled my ability to prioritize correctly. By correctly, I mean that God should be first, myself second, my family third, and miscellaneous stuff fourth. In reality, it feels like miscellaneous stuff is what my attention has been focused on. In chasing the illusion of perfection, I have put stuff first and burdened myself with unrealistic expectations. There simply aren’t enough hours to perfectly clean the house, keep every laundry basket empty, prepare gourmet meals, and be available for whatever my family might need.
My anxiety screams that I’m failing miserably at keeping all my plates in the air.
My depression laments; if I can’t do it all the ‘right’ way, why bother even trying since all I’ll do is fail anyway?
And, that’s basically what living in Hell looks like.
Like my laundry, I have to prioritize my life.
Today, I thanked God for another day on this Earth.
Today, I made caring for myself a priority. Meaning, I didn’t push myself beyond my limit. I actually enjoyed a cup of coffee before beginning my daily chores. I stopped to eat lunch when I was hungry or drink when I was thirsty without lambasting myself for being lazy or soft. I gave myself permission not to be perfect. I gave myself permission to eat takeout because I already had enough on my to-do list.
Today, I remembered to thank my husband for the essential things he does, like taking that full trash can down our steep driveway for tomorrow morning’s pickup. Because, in all reality, he doesn’t get the recognition he usually deserves.
And, in just a bit, I will celebrate the fact that I did the best I could do today. I will thank God for giving me a capable mind and body that allowed me to complete my to-do list.